In Grad School I heard the following fictional story from one of my professors. There was a man who fell in love with a woman. The man thought that she was absolutely beautiful in every way. He saw that her only flaw was that she had a disfiguring mark on her face that he felt skewed her appearance. Still, he loved her more than anything and was hopelessly devoted to her, so they married. A few years go by when he finally decides to speak with her about the mark.
He told her that there was a procedure they could do that would remove it. She loved him as well and wanted to please him, so she reluctantly agreed to it. Unfortunately, there were issues with the surgery and the woman died leaving the man devastated.
A starkly sad, shocking story for sure, which is probably why it has stayed with me as long as it has. Many different thoughts and lessons can be pulled from it. What comes to mind for me is that sometimes what we want is not always what is best.
However, it can be so painful to not get what you want sometimes. Getting rejected from your top-choice college, missing out on a promotion, or even being turned down for the job you thought would be a perfect fit. These are all really terrible.
At a lesser degree, I have even had some plans that I was really excited about that fell through, which have left me disappointed. It can be annoying to not see what we expect come to pass. Sometimes, when the the value of the expectation that does not come to pass is so important to us, it can leave us heartbroken.
A quick side-note, losing a loved one is a whole other level of loss and sadness. An event that someone may never fully get over. It’s hard to cover this type of loss with just a quick blog post, so let’s not include that with these other disappointments. Let’s also continue to pray for those who have lost someone and is in need of healing from this.
However, how then, can we better handle these other losses as they take place? How can we look back on the times where we feel like we missed out and still have peace? I have come up with 5 slogans to tell yourself when you don’t get what you want to help you better handle those moments.
I have given a brief explanation of each one below as well. You can use these by committing the slogans to memory and saying them to yourself when things don’t go your way. I hope they help you better cope with notting what you want!
- Things don’t just happen for a reason, they happen for The Reason.
Most people are familiar with the phrase, “Everything happens for a reason.” Many have found purpose and meaning by reflecting on their life in this light. It’s especially the moments when things did not go as planned that they are able to discern that there is something else to look forward to that is better than what is being missed.
I propose that the deeper reason for everything happening or not happening in our lives is Jesus. He is not just the reason for the Christmas season, but every season. We can trust that when things do not go our way, it’s because getting what we wanted would have led us away from Jesus, which is far worse than not getting what we wanted.
- Letting Go Gets You More
It’s hard to comprehend the freedom we can have when we surrender everything to God until we actually go through with it. Imagine not caring whether things go your way or not. Imagine how freeing it would be to always find satisfaction in whatever comes your way because you trust that God does not let things come your way if they are not truly good for you.
This is what happens when we let go. Yes, we can still want things, but we should really be detached to getting them how we want them. It is when we are detached that we realize how much we already have and are able to reach the desired level of contentment that comes with knowing how much is truly enough. Finally, when you let go and let God direct your life, He pours out more than you could ever imagine, and completely satisfies the heart.
- A huge failure can be my biggest win.
Sometimes failing or not getting what we want is a huge win. I once heard a very successful businessman exclaim that not getting into med school was the best thing that ever happened to him. What he meant was the he would not have been as pleased with his life as a doctor as he has been with his career in business.
Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Basically he means that through his failures he has made progress in discovering many worthwhile things in his life. We need to have this attitude and realize that with God, there are no dead ends, only opportunities. What might look like a loss is actually a misdirection to something better.
- But did I love well?
Any time we do not get what we want we can still feel better if we know that those we were with felt loved by us. Yes, you might not have gotten what you wanted, but another human being walked away from the situation with the understanding that you love and respect them. To me, this is worth more than most anything I could ask for.
- I really don’t want everything I want.
How many times have you gotten exactly what you wanted to only realize that you did not really want it? Sometimes we don’t really know what we want or we want the wrong things. At these times, it is best that we don’t get them.
This can easily be seen with the analogy of eating. Anyone who lives their life eating whatever they want whenever they want will soon find their freedom to move around become restricted. Their health will decline as well. There are other choices we can make like drinking too much alcohol or indulging in other vices that have negative consequences as well. The reality is that sometimes getting what we want is bad for us. How good is it then, that we have a good God who protects us from these things at times?
Do you have a slogan that you think can be added to our list? We would love to hear about it. Comment below or email it to us at emailzenithministries@gmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you!
