“If today you hear [God’s] voice, harden not your hearts.” These are the words given in the Bible that remind us of how important it is to avoid having a hardened heart so that we can have a better friendship with the Lord. However, what exactly does this mean? More importantly, how do we have the opposite, a softened heart?
In the Book of Exodus we hear about the most famous hardened heart, Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, who refused to release the Israelites from slavery. Can you imagine seeing the Nile river filled with blood, the land swarming with locusts and frogs, even seeing the sun blocked out for three days and still not wanting to deviate from your own plan?
Although, why would the Lord would say in Exodus 7:3,4, “But I will harden the Pharaoh’s heart, and though I multiply my miraculous signs and wonders in Egypt, he will not listen to you.” God does not zap Pharaoh to make the king of Egypt say no to Moses. What does happen, though, is a good lesson for us all on the importance of seeking out the softening of our own hearts.
First of all, the Bible states that Pharaoh hardened his own heart in Exodus 8:15 and Exodus 8:32. Secondly, we know that Pharaoh has already given himself over to do evil in his life and thus had a heart that was more disposed to do evil than to do good.
Keeping this in mind we can understand that it was not so much that God forced Pharaoh to have a hardened heart, but that God was still the cause. This is similar to how eating ice cream will cause those who are lactose intolerant to feel sick, but the ice cream is not setting out to hurt that person. It is the person’s already present allergy to dairy that sets up for the sickness when dairy is consumed.
St. Augustine uses the much tougher example of someone being given money to kill someone else.
“For example: when money is offered for the commission of homicide, a greedy man is moved in one way, but one who disdains money is moved in another way. The former is moved to commit the crime, the latter to being cautious. Yet the offer of the money itself was not under the control of either of them. Thus motives come to evil men that indeed are not under their control, but they act from these motives as they find them already established from their own past willing. We should consider whether the phrase can be understood in this way: “I shall harden,” as if he were saying, “I shall show how hard his heart is.”
So God does not want Pharaoh’s heart to be hardened at all. However, when he encounters God’s love, it does not move him to love and bend to what God wants. Instead, it causes his heart to harden. Just as the same sun that shines on the earth will melt ice, but also harden mud, so too does the same love of the Lord that pours forth upon humanity soften many hearts, yet at the same time harden others.
It is a mysterious effect on those who continually choose to do evil, who seek to serve themselves, putting themselves before God and others. When these hearts encounter God, they more easily turn away. They find it more difficult to hear Him, understand His teachings, and to recognize His providential care through which He brings good out of all things for those who love Him. It is easier for them to depend upon themselves, keeping only their desires and resources in mind when making plans, solving problems, and seeking rest from the burdens of life.
However, it would be wrong to say that only those who are far from the Lord have hardened hearts. Even those who consider themselves Godly can have hardened hearts, which we see throughout the Old Testament and the Gospel.
In Zechariah 7, God accuses the Israelites of not listening to His words proclaimed through the profits and thus hardening their hearts. He says, “But they refused to listen; they stubbornly turned their backs and stopped their ears so as not to hear. And they made their hearts as hard as diamonds so as not to hear the instruction and the words that the Lord of hosts had sent by his spirit through the earlier prophets.”
In the Gospels, I think mostly of those who opposed Jesus during his three year ministry, yet knew the scriptures foretold that the coming Messiah, for whom they waited, would perform the miracles that Jesus was performing. It is clear that those who opposed Jesus and sought to kill him had hardened hearts. To see Jesus do what He did and watch Him refute every argument and disagreement as majestically and intelligently as He did, and still reject Him to choose what they wanted instead, is the epitome of what having a hardened heart is like.
These examples show us that it is difficult to be immune to having our own hearts hardened. We need to learn from pharaoh and those that rejected Jesus to ensure that we have softened hearts. Or, if we have already fallen to hardening our own heart, we must soften our hearts again.
How can we do this? Here are some steps you can take:
1. Examine yourself. At some point, every day, reflect upon what you did and when you might have fallen to the temptation of putting your desires before God’s desires. Was there a time that you felt Him nudging you but you ignored Him? Did you stifle or ignore your conscience to do something wrong even though you felt bad about it? Try to do this every 24 hours to keep track of when you harden your heart and better prepare yourself for the next opportunity to soften it instead.
2. Say yes to other people more. I understand that there is only so much time in the day and there are certain things that you need to say no to. However, there are many requests, suggestions, or even strong pleas for help that you say no to simply out of inconvenience. While I would not say you have broken a commandment if you are not helping your friend’s brother move over the weekend, it still would have been super helpful for you to do that. I invite you to start saying yes more to people even when it is inconvenient. This will soften your heart as you condition your will to bend to the desires of others more and more. I
3. Do more things that you do not want to do. Choose to do some things simply because you do not want to. Make sure they are safe and do not cause you to grow in bitterness. However, just like in the last step, you can shape your will to choose to do things that do not come to you naturally. This can involve fasting from foods, giving up watching netflix, eating salad without salad dressing. Some people take cold showers, drive in silence, take the stairs instead of the elevator and more. You are able to protect your heart from hardening because you are not choosing to serve yourself as often. Furthermore, by saying no to good things, you make it easier to say no to bad things and say yes to God.
These three steps are just the start. There is actually a whole lifestyle that is needed to have and maintain a softened heart. If you’re interested in learning about this more, consider our mentorship program where we help people have softened hearts and live a life of encountering God. You can learn more at https:/zenithministries.com/mentorship
