It Doesn’t Always Look Good When You’re Working on Yourself, And That’s Ok

When you are working on yourself, trying to be a better person, making the changes you know you need to make, it is not always going to look pretty. In fact, it will feel uncomfortable and life might be a little awkward for a while.

This should not be a reason for you to stop trying to improve yourself. The discomfort of the transformation is simply a necessary part of the process. Working on yourself is not always fun or going to look beautiful, but it it is always worth it.

Down the street from where I live there is a house right off of the main road. You can tell that it is the home of a hard working handyman because there is often a dirty truck parked outside with tools, ladders, and other handyman materials about it. One day I was driving by and noticed that they were putting up a stone gate at the entrance of the driveway.

To be honest, I was not a fan of it. I thought that the gate did not match the house and that it did not look right for them to have a random gate at the end of their driveway. However, I did not know that they had more planned. I only saw what I saw and I thought it looked dumb.

A few weeks later, I was driving past and noticed that they had painted some parts of the gate and added more decorative stones and it actually looked really nice. I realized I did not see their vision and misjudged the whole thing based on the process instead of the finished product. What’s more is that since then they have added several more stone posts with beautiful wooden beams connecting to make a perimeter fence. It’s gorgeous to be honest.

I had only seen a part of the process, looked at how awkward it was and I scoffed. If I had known what the final product was going to look like or even if I had known that more was going to take place with the gate, I would not have had such a negative reaction to it. I would have been more accepting of it and even more patient with the process.

This story teaches some deep lessons about when you are working on yourself and going through the painful process.

  1. Be aware ahead of time that this new beginning will not always be fun.

    Remember that the steps you are taking in improving yourself on their own might entail some awkwardness and discomfort. For instance, if you want to quit drinking, the first several months might be painful in your social situations and in your handling of stress. By keeping this in mind ahead of time, you will be mentally prepared for those days when it’s just hard.

  2. Keep the end goal of what you hope to accomplish always in mind.

    By having a clear vision of your end goal, you can more easily carry the burden of the difficult moments. You can more easily roll your eyes and move on during the awkwardness because you know that this is simply a part of the process. It is temporary and will change as you slowly grow into the vision that you have for yourself, much like the fence and gate slowly took shape for my neighbors.
  3. Be patient with yourself.

    My neighbors fence took a long time for them to get up. It looked awkward for a long time. However, now that the fence is completed, all of that awkwardness is gone. I would say for sure that the awkwardness of those several months where it was not quite clear what they were doing in their yard was worth it. One, because it doesn’t really matter what other people think when you know you are making changes that will eventually bring about something beautiful. Furthermore, even if they thought it was awkward, the steps they took were necessary to get to their finished product.

Temporary pain is worth it when you can get something great through it. When you are giving up things, or making healthier choices, or deciding on things that make you better, even if these choices make things difficult for a while, it is worth it. It is absolutely worth it to go through a few months of awkwardness in order to gain a lifetime of a happier, more fulfilled you.

Another lesson we can take from this then, is to be patient with others when we see them in awkward stages in life. Even if we do not know whether they are actively working on themselves or not, we can be sure that no one on earth is a finished product and therefore, we are all in the process of transformation. We are all seeking what we think will make us happy. Whether you agree with what someone is doing to attain this or not, you can still give them the benefit of the doubt that they are trying.

Let’s be more patient with each other when we see one another falling short. Fraternal correction can have its place, however, encouragement is needed for those who are trying to improve their lives, but are in the awkward parts of the process.

Finally, if you find yourself really struggling with these moments while trying to improve yourself. Don’t give up. It is absolutely worth it. It stinks during the tough parts, but these moments do not last forever. Change is coming. You just need to stay in the fight.

If you would like to get help with your transformation process, we can help. At Zenith Ministries, we have been running a successful one on one mentorship program where we offer insight, real life solutions, inner healing, and spiritual guidance to those who need it. Reach out today to receive a free consultation to see how we can help you overcome your struggles and enter into the beautiful life you were meant for. You can email us at info@zenithministries.com or call/text at 404-333-8978. More info at www.zenithministries.com/mentorships.

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