Someone recently asked me for my thoughts on dating, and I thought it would be easier to get it all down in writing to help them and anyone else out there navigating the dating world. I have heard some pretty harsh stories about the dating world these days. While I myself have not been in that world for a while, I have spoken with many people who are, and it seems very difficult. Yet, it’s good to keep in mind that God specializes in bringing beautiful things out of difficult situations. Furthermore, I know that if I were out there, I would keep in mind the guidelines I share below.
Before I go through the guidelines for dating in 2026, it would be good to discuss the purpose of dating, which is not just to have fun or to have someone to do things with. The purpose of dating is to discover if someone is a suitable person for you to marry. Marriage preparation is the reason that you should go on any date before you are married. Then, after you are married, you go on dates to build up your marriage and find ways to manifest your love for your spouse.
I share this to help establish the proper mindset that someone should have as they traverse the dating world. This will result in less heartache, and you’ll have a better chance at a lasting, more meaningful relationship. Plus, dating for marriage can also be fun as you seek to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
1. Learn How to Be a Good Friend
While you hope that the person you date will become more than a friend, you still apply your friendship skills to the relationship. If you are a bad friend, then you are going to have a bad relationship. You should always be a good friend, period, but this will help you while dating because it will ensure that you start your relationship off well, allowing space for something special to blossom. Plus, a good friend is someone who is selfless, communicates well, and listens. All three of these are important for there to be a good relationship and will ensure that you are putting into the relationship what is needed for it to thrive, which will help you in finding a future spouse.
2. Settle (Within Reason)
This might sound a little backwards, as there have been countless influencers and speakers over the years preaching that you should never settle, but I wonder if this has been taken too far. First, I should say that you should definitely not settle on someone with serious red flags, who mistreats you, or who has serious issues that would be detrimental to your health and well-being. However, there is also a plague of perfectionism that has been overtaking our society, which I believe is bad for dating.
One of the joys of marriage is growing with your partner and improving yourselves together. No one is perfect, and it actually might be a red flag if someone seems perfect, so we shouldn’t try to find someone who checks all the boxes. This might rob you of the opportunity to grow in certain areas of your life. Instead, choose two or three things that you absolutely will not settle on—besides not being mistreated, which is already expected—and be willing to compromise on the rest. To help with this, you should use guideline #5 on this list so that you
know when to compromise and when to stick to your standards.
3. Be Friends with the Person First
This might be controversial to those who just want to start dating the person they like, and I know many great relationships have come from this, but I would argue that having a period of time during which you are just friends with the person you are interested in is a good start to a relationship. By this, I mean that you remove all romantic aspects from your relationship by not flirting, not having too much time alone with each other, and not having any pressure to be anything other than friends.
Spend time getting to know each other and practice being the good friend described in guideline #1. There is no set time for how long you should just be friends. Honestly, knowing that God has different plans for everyone, it could be anywhere from a few days to weeks or months. Still, I think being friends first will lay a great foundation for the good relationship that you are seeking.
4. Don’t Date Alone: Get Loved Ones to Sign Off
This is not saying that you should never go on one-on-one dates. However, you should definitely avoid doing only one-on-one dates if you are seriously dating someone. Introduce them to your friends and family and check in with those you trust at some point to get their thoughts on the person you are seeing.
This will help you better understand the person and determine more clearly if they are a good fit for you. Often, we can miss things and fail at being objective when emotions are involved. Bringing in extra help from trusted loved ones outside of the situation will help point out blind spots in the other person or even ways you can improve as well.
5. Let God Guide You
If you ignore all the other points on this list, don’t do so with this one. God is interested in your love life. He is with you and wants to guide you in everything and help you find your future spouse. (If you’re interested in hearing about how He helped me and my wife, you can listen to that here.)
Let God guide you in this. Look to Him when you consider who to date. You can still use your own preferences and desires to decide, but bring things to God in prayer as you do so. Ask Him if you should give someone a chance or if you should avoid dating someone. Just like you want to get loved ones to sign off on the people you are dating, you want God to as well. God is faithful, and He will not let you down. He loves you and, truly, He wants what is best for you. Give this whole process to Him and He will lead you. Be open to Him and His plan
for you, and you will be delighted with the outcome.
Use these guidelines as you navigate the dating world, and I believe that you will be happy with how it goes. They may not speed things up, but they will help bring about better results.
If you are looking for more help with your dating life or how you can grow in your relationship with God, consider signing up for our Mentorship Service. We help people walking with the Lord overcome identity wounds and navigate life through our one-on-one sessions with experienced mentors.
Learn more at: https://zenithministries.com/mentorship
